In these few lines we have outlined some general suggestions regarding the behaviour to adopt in order to best protect minors.

Adults can protect their children or young family members in general from the unpleasant experience of paedophilia at different levels and in different manners.

In these few lines we have outlined some general suggestions regarding the behaviour to adopt in order to best protect minors.

Let us summarise therefore what “types of paedophiles” are circulating and the preventative precautions to be adopted. There are paedophiles who have erotic fantasies that they express exclusively with children or young adolescents (the so called “preferentials”). These are actually the least treacherous as they are the easiest to identify, they have easily recognisable behavioural and social characteristics:
in general they are not married, they live alone or with their parents or grandparents
they have serious difficulties in relationships with partners of their own age
even if they are married, it is most likely that they have contracted a “coverage” marriage with a partner who represents a parent figure more than anything else

Among these, there are those who have a maniacal approach to the child, those who know how to “court” their victim kindly and ably and lastly, those who kidnap the child to abuse him or her. Kidnapping is often the consequence of a previous contact, be it either kind or rough.

Defence from this kind of paedophile comes about by means of:
constant vigilance on the young person
finding out about anyone who has contact with the young person (baby-sitter, friends, educators, trainers etc…)
surveillance of the behaviour of the adults who interact with the young person
give the young person a localisation apparatus (inserting it into their favourite teddy bear for example) and as soon as the child is a little older, give them a mobile phone or another passive and active means of defence.
As soon as the child is able to understand, it is a good idea to explain to them the dangers of certain people and to educate them to mistrust wisely.
Maintain a confidential relationship with the young person which must be such that the child feels able to share his / her thoughts with you rather than closing himself up.

Then there are occasional paedophiles (the so-called “situational” paedophiles) who do not have a sexual preference for children or young adolescents only, but who take advantage of young victims when urged by particular impulses in favourable situations.

These are actually more dangerous and treacherous than “preferential” paedophiles because they are harder to identify. They are well inserted into the social context, with a normal sexual and sentimental life. They are often quite pleasant and communicative people, in some cases they suffer from mental retardation or senile dementia, but they are well inserted into society all the same, having given no signs of danger prior to the abuse.

The precautions in this case are the same as those that are listed above with more regard for the confidential relationship between parents and children, especially when they are a little older and discrete and constant vigilance is extremely important as regards younger children.

As an example of discrete and constant vigilance: three children, two boys aged between 3 and 6 and a girl aged 9 that were part of the one family, were entrusted to a young babysitter during certain hours of the day and evening. The girl, who was in her early twenties, had a boyfriend aged twenty-four, a student, perfectly inserted into society and considered to be a good guy, who often came to visit her when she was working. He inevitably also visited the three children, and in good faith, his girlfriend often left him in charge of them when she went off to buy them some treat or other or when she would go down to the cellar to get a bottle of water.
The twenty-four year old began a dangerous courtship game with the nine-year old girl. Fortunately her parents had a video-recording system with micro-cameras installed in their home, to monitor and prevent any possible dangers to the detriment of the little kids.
The irresponsible behaviour of the baby-sitter’s boyfriend was found out in time and both were banished from contact with the family of three.

Lastly, it is very important to consider that:
the majority of sexual abuse carried out by paedophiles comes about among family members and people who are known to the family
It is important not to be under the illusion that an unknown adult, although morally upright, will always be willing to intervene to defend your child in cases where they see that the latter is in danger. It is often the case that people prefer to look the other way and pretend that they saw nothing.
Sometimes the crime in question is so absurd and perhaps committed by a person who was believed to be morally correct, that it is difficult to identify these people and therefore prevent such happenings but it is also difficult to incriminate such people due to a disordered defence reaction by the young victim’s family.
If one of your children is the unfortunate victim of a paedophile it is important to contact a specialised police force in cases of such crimes and it is vital to have the young victim undergo tests carried out by expert psychologists.

Published on: 28 Jul 2004